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About Bender

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I hit the streets of Cimislia, right? I’m strolling down Strada Mihai Eminescu, feeling all good. Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Yeah, today’s gonna be lit!” But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Like, who even made that puddle? It’s like a mini lake in the middle of the sidewalk. My shoes are soaked. Great start, right?

Inebriated driver kills three in road accident on M3 Chisinau-Cimișlia road